At the end of Newsletter131 on Bridging the Theory/Action Gap, we asked readers for comments. Ted Wetzel, the creator of Dinner and a Fight Dialogue (that's not an error, that's the name for Ted's process), shared some thoughts with us and told us about his idea of "Disagreement Fitness," He sent a draft document that he said was a "recent hunch about a rubric for the cultural change we wish for" which he is preparing to present at the Braver Angels summer meeting. Guy and I have a number of thoughts and comments about Ted's "hunch," but we also wanted to post his original document here as a practitioner reflection.
Note, Ted's document was addressed to Braver Angels, a U.S. political bridge-building organization of which Ted's Fighting-To-Understand, the parent organization which runs Dinner and a Fight Dialogue, is a Braver Angel Network Partner. Ted is preparing to present this idea at the summer 2023 Braver Angel meeting.
by Ted Wetzel
July 11, 2023
Braver Angels: we are so close to a cultural shift of:
Disagreement Fitness
The shift, built on depolarization:
- A Culture of Disagreement Fitness.
- A Culture with Disagreement Gymnasiums.
- A Culture where The-Top-10-Constructive-Disagreement-Exercises are ubiquitous (K through lifelong-learning; used in business, civics, family, marriage…).
- A Culture where towns have Volunteer Disagreement Peace Teams (skilled everyday citizens spring into action when unity is threatened).
- A Culture where citizens are honored for a “tour of duty” on constructive disagreement teams... or as part of a deliberative-democracy-citizen-assembly for real policy recommendations.
- A culture where the output from skilled teams can be shared with the larger citizenry as part of a digital democracy, including healthy feedback loops from the citizenry.
- A culture of trust, based on shared involvement of Constructive Disagreement Exercises.
Why? Because it’s undeniable that:
- [Our natural human temptation to accumulate power] + [the Information internet firehose] = a manipulative breeding ground for distrust, creating a negative spiral of disunity.
- This breeding ground of distrust creates intolerable mental anguish. To sooth this intolerable breeding ground of distrust, we either check-out or we settle for partial truth in a silo. The silo is all too willing to welcome “the oppressed” (and intolerant) followers because the silo feeds the natural human egoic tendency to be “right” and need to belong, rather than be in relationship = a breeding ground for polarization; again, a negative spiral of disunity.
- We desire a more perfect union. We desire equal opportunity for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But life in a silo turns to blaming the other silo. Disavowing our creed; again another spiral of disunity.
- Self-governing (of, for, and by the people) is deeply rooted in constructive disagreement. Yet we are unskilled at constructive disagreement. It’s so sad, that we the professed world leaders of ‘democracy’ lack the skill of constructive disagreement. Lacking skill, we work hard to end up with dysfunctional resolution to disagreement. Another spiral of disunity. Here is the cultural leverage, surprisingly with disagreement itself – skillful constructive disagreement!
- Therefore, our BA aim to depolarize is correct. And so close to a cultural shift.
A culture-shift rubric works when it:
- Is larger than one organization. If only one organization, then it will, no matter how correct and universal it is today, eventually succumb to the temptation to hold, and then accumulate power, and thus repeat the cycle of distrust.
- Has language that is approachable, and slips into the existing crevices of any organization, any family, any individual, any imagination... without need to first dislodge other patterns.
- Has language that allows for expansion, innovation, is welcoming and yearns for continuous improvement.
- Obviously and naturally acknowledges the painful gap that the culture shift fills.
Want to explore this further?
Ted followed this question with his phone number and email address, which we won't be publishing here. If you have comments, though, send them to BI and we will forward them to Ted and/or post them on our blog if you agree, and if it is appropriate to the blog content.
