Things You Can Do To Help Posts
- Don't Take the "Hate Bait" -- Hate begets hate, fear, anger, and eventually violence. Don't fall into the trap! And if you are in, climb out!
- Practice (and Preach) Civility in Public and Private Discourse -- Incivility begets more of the same, while civil discourse can help de-escalate conflict and improve relationships.
- Seek Co-existence, Not Total Victory -- The demand for total victory is a recipe for continuing and deepening strife--co-existence is essential for peace.
- Treat EVERYONE With Respect -- Respect is free to give, yet its payback is huge: breaking down stereotypes and often earning respect in return.
- Confront Constructively -- An essay exploring what a more constructive (and more effective) strategy for confronting injustice might look like.
- Pick Your Fights--Let Things Go When You Can -- Fights cost lots and may be lost! If you can live and let live, it is often much better for all.
- Try Collaboration First! -- If we dig below positions, we often can collaborate with "our enemies" to the benefit of all.
- Listen To and Talk With (not to) the Other Side -- Even if you think you know what the other side thinks, you likely don't--and they don't know you either.
- Find Others to Work With -- Alone we can do a little bit, but with others we can accomplish much more. Collaboration works!
- Play a "Third Side Role" -- "Third siders" are disputants and outsiders - united in a desire to transform conflicts for the better.
- Minimize the Use of Force -- Exchange and respect are more powerful than force--they persuade without causing backlash.
- Understand Your--and Others'--Fundamental Human Needs -- Fundamental needs are common drivers of conflict. But they don't have to be.
- Persuade People By Meeting Their Interests Too -- If you can let the other side win something too, the chances of cooperation go way up.
- Break Down Negative Stereotypes -- Don’t assume a person you don’t know is just like you expect them to be. Give them a chance to surprise you!
- Be Willing to Consider the Possibility That You May Be Wrong -- Most of us are so enmeshed in our own worldviews that we don't consider that we might be wrong. It helps to listen to outsiders and consider that possibility.
- Listen Actively and Empathically -- Empathic listening is amazingly powerful--sometimes that is all that is needed to defuse destructive conflicts.
- Allow Your Opponents to "Save Face." -- No one likes to be humiliated--allowing your opponent to save face will help defuse a conflict.
- Focus on Fixing the Problem, Not Attacking People -- Attacking people makes them angry. Enlisting their help to solve a mutual problem is more likely to work as hoped.
- Sound the Alarm -- People don't realize how destructive their conflict behaviors often are: we must sound the alarm to spur change!
- First, Do No Harm -- Doctors promise to, at a minimum, “do no harm.” People who want to improve conflicts should do the same.
- If You're Not Part of the Solution, You're Part of the Problem -- Conflict is created by everyone--it becomes better or worse depending on what all of us do.
