How to Stop Fighting Step #5 Effective Negotiation

What are Interests?

The secret is identifying each side's interests and then negotiating about those, rather than negotiating about people's positions.

But what are interests -- and positions?

Positions are what we say we want: "I want to go to Florida" vs. "I want to stay home."

Interests are the reasons behind our positions: "I want to go somewhere warm with an ocean" or "I want to have enough money for presents."

Often, interests are reconcilable -- even when positions are not.

There might be a warm beach closer than Florida, or the couple might be able to go later in the winter when the rates are lower.

In "interest-based" negotiation, the parties explain not only what they want, but also the reasons they have for wanting those things (i.e. their interests).

They then try to think up ways to meet everyone's interests simultaneously.

This may not result in either person "winning" exactly what they initially asked for (going to Florida or staying home), but they will both get what they really wanted (a warm beach AND money to spend).