How to Stop Fighting Step #5 Effective Negotiation

Option C. Try to find out what your partner's interests are.

This is a very good strategy. It is key to an alternative approach to negotiation which Fisher, Ury, and Patton call "principled negotiation." Other people call it "interest-based bargaining" or "win-win" negotiation.

In their well-known book, Getting to Yes, Fisher, Ury, and Patton distinguish between three approaches to negotiation: soft, hard, and principled.

• "Agree with your partner and stay home" is their soft approach.
• "Convince your partner to go to Florida" is their hard approach.
• They advocate a third approach, which they called "principled."

Using this approach, it is possible to transform situations that appear to be "win-lose" into ones that are "win-win."

In other words, you can develop ways in which everyone can "win," even if you don't get exactly what you thought you wanted in the first place.