Anger

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2. Intractable Conflict Threat and Opportunity

 

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Anger is a completely normal emotion that everyone has, and is unavoidable when one is harmed. It can be a positive emotion if it causes the harmed person to respond to the harm in a constructive way, using what we call "constructive confrontation" to confront the person or organization causing the harm in a way that makes them understand (and hopefully remedy) the harm done without making them defensive or even more angry.

Unfortunately, that is often not the way anger is addressed.  More often people who are angry lash out against the perceived source of the anger in a way that makes the target more angry or hostile themselves.  This is what is called a "positive feedback system" where one person's anger causes anger in the other person, who lashes out and causes more anger in the first person, and so on, in an ever-escalating cycle. These kinds of cycles often end very badly, either by one (or both) sides hurting or sometimes even killing the other. (Or sometimes they can lash out and kill innocent victims, as when extremely angry individuals release their anger in the form of mass violence.  Anger spirals rarely result in problem solving or reconciliation, nor do they result in the cause of the anger getting fixed. 

So learning how to confront one's anger and the source of one's anger constructively is key to preventing further harm — to oneself and to others. 

 

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