|
Introduction:
Robert Stains, program director of the Public Conversations Project,
talks about the personal skills that dialogue practitioners need, especially when
facilitating conversations about deep personal issues. He suggests that an important part
of the dialogue practitioner's job is establishing a human connection with participants.
| |
This rough transcript provides a text alternative to audio. We apologize for occasional errors and unintelligible sections (which are marked with ???).
Personal Skills
Robert Stains
Program Director, Public Conversations Project, Watertown, Massachusetts
| |
Q: What types of personal characteristics would
behoove someone who does this kind of work?
A: Well, you have to have a very
high tolerance for ambiguity. You have to be able to live what you teach. You
really have to believe in the value of respecting people who you violently
disagree with, even if they don't respect you. Particularly with the work that
we're doing, like when I do mediation, I'm dealing with other people's issues
and helping them work out their issues. When I'm doing public conversations
work, I'm dealing with people who have ideas about issues, mostly that I care
about, that I have very strong opinions about. So I'm going to be on one side or
the other of many of the issues that I come into contact with. I have to be prepared to encounter those people that I really disagree with and be able to respect them as deeply as
I respect the people that I agree with. So that can be a real challenge making
that human connection. Making the human connection, and not a once-removed
professional connection.
I think that one of the things that I see when we do
training, and we have people come into our power of dialogue workshops, is when
folks interview people who are playing clients, they interview them often as removed
professionals who are there to gather information, and not as fellow human
beings. So the capacity to be real human beings with folks, with appropriate
boundaries is really important. The ability to keep your mouth shut, which I'm
not exhibiting too well right now, but when I'm working I can, is really, really
important. Also not necessarily facilitating, but being able to allow a process
to go on. Being able to be really circumspect about your own language is of
utmost importance, and that is all your language, your written language, what
you say to people informally, online, when you're doing a dialogue. It is very
important for people to be one top of those things. There are the professional
capacities to lead a group and facilitate and so forth, but personally, I don't
think those are as important. I think those things are much more easily
learned than sort of the heart and spirit and stance kind of qualities that are
much more difficult for people to live into than the skill sets.
|