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Introduction:
Robert Stains, program director of the Public Conversations Project,
talks about the dialogue groups he facilitated with the the Episcopal Diocese of
Massachusetts. These conversations about sexual orientation and human sexuality
helped the parties to mutual understanding and respect and discover points of agreement.
One group even decided to work together to write a book about what they had learned.
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This rough transcript provides a text alternative to audio. We apologize for occasional errors and unintelligible sections (which are marked with ???).
Inspirations
Robert Stains
Program Director, Public Conversations Project, Watertown, Massachusetts
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Q: What
experience in your work has especially touched or inspired you?
A: There are two in particular that stand out. There was work that we did
with the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts back in the late '90s where we were
asked to facilitate conversations around sexual orientation and human sexuality.
What was particularly inspiring about this was that people were very deeply
divided and very suspicious of one another. They were frightened in many ways,
as well as hopeful and faithful that they could achieve some level of understanding. To see
them come together and reach deep levels of understanding, really really grapple
with their deepest beliefs and the differences in thier beliefs, and then want to do more is what was really inspiring. I
think that there are these situations that happen quite a bit, where people want
to do more than we expected them to do, or than they signed onto. In this case
they came together for a series of meetings, the end of which was to just be
conversational.
At the end of the third meeting, they decided that they wanted to create a
manual for all congregations in Massachusetts to be able to have similar dialogues. So they
formed a work group and created a really great study guide and manual for
individual congregations to use and we've been able to send it all over the country, and to
other countries for use in churches, which has been really exciting. So that was
one thing that really touched me and inspired me.
Q: What kind of resolutions were they able to come up with? Or what did they
agree to say? I understand language is often a large problem when you're talking about very divisive issues, the very words you can use. Discussing sexual orientation in a religious setting is very provocative. How did they agree to write anything together?
A: Well, it's really astonishing, because they didn't just write a manual,
they also wrote a statement of convergence and divergence. There were areas that
they realized that they agreed in and believed together, and areas that they
disagreed in. Then there were areas that they have yet to come to an
understanding of where their agreements and disagreements are.
For example, one of the areas that they were surprised to find a high
convergence in is that both sides had a high view of scripture. Both sides are
very deeply concerned that people have a high view of scripture and of deep and ongoing prayer life. Both
sides had similar ideas about pastoral ideas about people who are homosexual. So
things like that they were able to say that they agreed upon, and other things
they were able to say that they agree that they disagree about different
passages in the Bible and what they had to say about homosexuality. Then there
were some areas for further discussion that needed to be carried on as time went on. Our Anglican group did a similar process. They identified areas of
convergence, areas of divergence, and then areas for continued conversation.
Q: This conversation led to a greater degree of comfort with the other side, a little
more knowledge, clarification of the issues, things like that?
A: Much deeper respect, deeper levels of understanding where people were
coming from. I think there were misconceptions and stereotypes that both
sides held of one another which were washed away. So they were able to interact
with each other free of all that sort of baggage and able to interact only on the issues that they disagreed about, but from a position of respect and
understanding and empathy, even though they disagreed.
...
The Episcopal work that I referred to later led to working with 12
archbishops and bishops around the world for three week long meetings over three
years. They, like the other group, decided that they wanted to do more than just
talk, although they thought that was extremely valuable. They saw some systemic
supports for dysfunction in the Anglican communion, in the way that it handled conflict and
they wanted to name those and suggest alternative ways of dealing with conflict.
They wrote this book called The Final Report of the International Anglican
Conversations on Human Sexuality. They published it and distributed it
throughout the Anglican community. It bears witness to their conversations, as
well as their ideas about what should change in the way that the communion
around the world handles conflict. Again, I felt unworthy to be in the presence
of such greatness and that these people were rising far beyond the call that
they had been given to create something that was a gift to the world. Those two
things really stand out as experiences that I've been really proud to be a part of as
part of the PCP team.
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