Article Summary of "The Cycle of Reconciliation" by Ron Kraybill
Citation:
Kraybill, Ron. "The Cycle of Reconciliation." Conciliation Quarterly, 14:3 (Summer 1995) pp. 7-8.
This Article Summary written by: Mariya Yevsyukova, Conflict Research Consortium
Ron Kraybill describes his theory of the reconciliation cycle.
The theory is based on Ron's experience in South Africa. He feels
that people in South Africa have a mistaken image of the process
of reconciliation, thinking of it as a process that erases the
past. Kraybill's theory suggests that reconciliation is a
long-lasting process that goes through several stages. The first
stage is relationship. A big part of relationships is taking
risks by sharing with another person. Risk-taking creates trust.
However, sometimes this trust gives way to an injury when the
response to sharing is betrayal. This occurs when one of the
parties gets hurt by another. The consequence is usually the
physical or emotional withdrawal of the injured party.
Withdrawing allows the victim to evaluate the event and his or
her feelings about it and the opponent. If not enough time is
taken to do this, but rather a quick apology is made and
accepted, the result may be forgiveness without reconciliation.
In this case distrust will remain, and the relationship will
never be the same.
The next step on the way to true reconciliation is reclaiming
identity. As one result of an injury, the victim often loses
self-esteem, and a group might lose its belief in its uniqueness
and strength. Identity is reclaimed by the process of
self-awareness and self-affirmation: a person acknowledges one's
feelings of frustration and pain, and gains self-respect. Groups
undergo the same process, which the author calls
"conscientization." Following identity reclaiming is
internal commitment to reconciliation and restoration of risk.
Restoration of trust will occur only after parties again begin to
take risks in sharing with each other. Finally, in order to
overcome blame and guilt and return to normal relationships,
there should be negotiations between the parties to address the
needs created by the injury.
Lasting relationships develop in cycles. In which injuries and
disappointments are a natural part. Thus reconciliation becomes a
recurring process, a cycle that will be repeated over and over
again. People should not avoid conflicts and accommodate pain,
but constantly work on the relationships, transforming
disagreements and disappointments into mutual understanding and
self-assertion.
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